In a remarkable turn of events today, Barr Festus Keyamo, popularly known as Sandalili, has achieved two world records, solidifying his position as the first Senior Advocate of Nigeria (SAN) to have experienced a staggering 90%+ loss rate in all his cases.
Keyamo's latest defeat marks his 99th loss out of a total of 109 cases, bringing him dangerously close to the 100th loss milestone. With a current record of 99 losses, 9 withdrawn cases, and only a single victory, Keyamo has undeniably left an indelible mark on Nigeria's legal landscape.
Although this unique achievement may raise eyebrows, it is essential to recognize Keyamo's contribution in putting Nigeria on the global stage, albeit in an unconventional manner. As a result, we hereby urge Bulaba, the national awarding body, to bestow upon him the prestigious title of Grand Loser of the Federal Republic (GLFR). Furthermore, we propose that Keyamo's biography be incorporated into the curriculum for all law students, serving as a cautionary tale to prevent the emergence of future SANs like him. Congratulations to all residents of Agbado for this momentous occasion.
In a separate development, Justice Omotosho of the Federal High Court dismissed the lawsuit filed by Keyamo against Atiku and the ICPC. Notably, the judge deemed the suit frivolous, vexatious, and an abuse of court processes. To deter such practices, Justice Omotosho imposed a hefty N10 million fine on Keyamo.
*Today at the Tribunal*
INEC: Do you realise Atiku didn’t get 25% in the FCT?
Witness: Yes
INEC: Since he didn’t get 25% in the FCT, do you know he can’t be declared President ?
Witness: But Tinubu didn’t get 25% too & You declared him President.
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