Communication and interaction with your partner are very crucial in a relationship. The way you refer or talk to your partner may either bring you closer or pull you apart thereby killing a relationship which is meant to be fruitful. Because of this, you need to be conscious of what you say to those you love and make sure your words are helping you to build love and connection.
Here are some phrases you need to be aware of to avoid tearing down your relationship.
1. I Can’t…
This is a defeating phrase that makes it seem like you are at a dead end and have no choice but to give up. “I can’t take it any longer.” Words like this, when said, automatically stop any positive words or actions from following.
Instead of saying this, tell your partner how you are feeling using words like “worried” or “frustrated”. Tell them what you want, listen to them and see if you both can come to a compromise.
2. You Should…
Using this phrase implies that your partner cannot make healthy decisions on their own and it may drive a wedge between you. “You should do it this way” because your way is not good enough to me.
Instead, ask your partner to help you understand what their thinking or planning to do. That way they will know that you really are interested in their point of view. When you understand the problem, ask if they want a suggestion.
3. You Always… Or You Never…
The moment anyone hears either of these phrases, they may to get defensive, get angry and withdraw from you.
“You never help out with chores.” “You always forget to call me.” If you think very carefully, you will find times when they acted differently from what you are accusing them of doing. Instead, ask for help with the housework or find ways to discuss what might work for you.
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